My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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