you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize