all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
