She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
