Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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