Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
