Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
