Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
