I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
