he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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