there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who died my cat blue again?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
