my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
