i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
