its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
