ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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