think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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