I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
