I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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