yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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