I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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