I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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