Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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