That's intense
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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