Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
