glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize