I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
