I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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