Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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