Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
