In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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