I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
