What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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