Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize