you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
