R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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