Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize