I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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