school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
