singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You are the jesus of drinking
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
