I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
