I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
