I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
