If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize