i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
