is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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