You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i think i just lost a toe
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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