like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
