Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
