is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
