I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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