Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Small penises have feelings too.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize