Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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