I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Even my vagina gasped.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
