If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
