Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
