do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its liver damage thursday
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
