Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize