seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
