Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm like, not good at living.
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