Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
