That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
