they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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