I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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