Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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