Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
