Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
