I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
pray to the hookup gods
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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