i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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