I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
