sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
