you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have aggressive nipples.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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