Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
