I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
