Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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