I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
3 2 1 whiskey
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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